After a few months at one job I came to realize that my boss was incapable of leading. It became a test of commitment, patience, and trust in God and confidence in myself.
I’ve had my fair share of frustrating jobs, some with good bosses and others with not so good bosses. But frustrating jobs that have bad bosses are the worst. It can be extra challenging when your boss says to you in your first few weeks after hardly any conversation, “I try not to tell my direct reports what to do.” What this really means is “I don’t plan to actually give you any direction at all.” For a very large organization with lots of departments, this is not a good sign. What I got when I started was a one-sheeter on how to access a few certain programs and then a pat on the back. Good luck!
My role was supposed to be supporting a manufacturing sales organization from an e-commerce perspective. My training in the business was two print outs, one on the line of products and services available to our B2B clients and the other a sales framework that our sales organization follows.
What I learned after the next few weeks is that it was much worse. When I came to her with a question about how I was supposed to get something done, she reprimanded me for being ’negative’. So, wait, I’m supposed to be strategic and creative, but don’t bother asking me about my goals, prioritizations, and how to attack them in a way that provides real value for the organization. What I found out is everything was done in a silo in my department. We were doing work that we had other departments with capabilities to support us but we couldn’t ask for help because of some innate fear. And we did so much on our own, we did nothing well.
So, sometimes you interview and get a job that you think will be one thing, and it turns out being something else. I had taken this new job and after 7 months had resorted to the fact that this was a job that would limit my abilities and that, as long as I was there and in the same situation with the same boss, I would need to resolve to do the job and never ask any questions or challenge the status quo. It was a frustrating work existence, but one I had experienced before, so I realized it would be about maintaining work anxiety as best I could.
I had a few ground rules that I had already developed when I am not inspired at work: pray, exercise, read the Bible, be home for dinner no matter what, work after kids are in bed or early in the morning when needed, and say no to work on the weekends. In a job that is not inspiring, I try to get work done during the week so I can totally remove it from my brain on the weekend. This means, I always work my best to be home for dinner and have an hour with the kids. Other than that, I will work early and late, before and after, just so that I can be free on the weekend.
The Day Before My Boss Was Let Go
In this one role, finally, after waiting for months, what felt like a year, everything unfolded in dramatic fashion and my boss was let go. It was like magic. The day before I hit rock bottom and then it totally flipped within 24 hours. I could only give credit to God, as I could never imagine orchestrating the next steps. The day before it happened, a direct report who was the one incredible employee that I had on my team, quit. She essentially stated that she couldn’t work here anymore because there were all these empty promises. That night I went home convinced that my work life was about to become unbearable. This one employee is the one who was keeping me alive at this job. I looked at LinkedIn jobs for about 15 minutes and felt even worse at the thought of trying to find another job. I was prepared to continue maintaining anxiety levels for the next 2 years and for it to be a practice in discipline.
The Day The Magic Happened, My Boss Was Let Go
Then, the next morning the VP of Marketing called all the departmental managers into her office and informed us that my boss had been let go. And the floodgate of frustration came out. I informed her we needed to counteroffer my direct report, which we did and that day she agreed to say. Then, over the next couple of weeks, with a direct line to the VP, who was all about collaboration and feedback, my energy levels came back as we realigned my goals and priorities for the organization.
Over a matter of 2 weeks, I became more inspired to solve problems without a significant roadblock. Books that previously caused me anxiety were now much more interesting and necessary. I had a new outlook on my work due to being given the resources to do good work and not just maintain the status quo. Simply being able to pick up books that I knew would challenge me to think differently were no longer a source of anxiety. It was now necessary to spearhead ideas and help drive growth with direction from the VP.
Over the next few months I became much more open-handed, off-loaded work that was being duplicated by our team. In particular, we became more collaborative with the analytics team and moved commerce analytics to them. Then we worked with the promotions team to consider the holistic strategy for maintaining customers. And I set out to create a B2B content strategy that would over time decrease our dependency on email communication and put more effort toward a better content experience and search engine growth.
Perspective and Direction
Sometimes, it is simply a matter of perspective and clear direction. At other times, it is about doing a job dutifully and for me, can become about anxiety management and persistence in not giving up. Often, because nothing else is calling you away it is best to stay the course. Fortunately, I had been in frustrating work situations before and I had a different approach this time around. Previously, when I would have quit, I knew leaving would be me running. I had learned more about myself and working to be content in spite of the incredible odds. And then I had a momentary reprieve with my boss being let go. Even after my boss was gone, the odds were not in my favor long term. But, at least for a short window, I had some relief.
It is often that way with God and waiting. I could wait for years and then when God decides it is time for something to happen, it can be 24 hours and the whole situation changes. This existence had me in constant prayer. In addition, I developed a habit of a 5:00 a.m. workout routine 4 days of the week. I would not have done these things unless I had needed a distraction, structured time for priorities, and a way to take out some anxiety. Sometimes, God does things that surprise you. And my boss being let go was one of those things.